The Babylonians and Assyrians - Model Essay

Students in my period six class were given the following type three writing prompt:  There were many similarities between the Babylonians and Assyrians.  They were to include at least three examples and the following were the focus correction areas:  1. End Punctuation, 2. Capitalization, and 3. Organization (their essays should have had three distinct parts).  Below, you will find a model essay which students will read in class.

The Babylonians and Assyrians

            The Fertile Crescent was home to many of the world’s first civilizations.  Among them, the Babylonians and Assyrians thrived in the area known as Mesopotamia.  Mesopotamia was the land between the Tigris and Euphrates Rivers and was the perfect home for the people who lived there.  There were many similarities between these groups of people.

            Both the Babylonians and Assyrians had great leaders who expanded their rule.  King Sargon II of Assyria and King Hammurabi of Babylonia led the two great kingdoms.  Both of the empires showcased great military might which enabled them to expand.  The Assyrians used inventions like the battering ram to pound through city walls while the Babylonians designed roads making it easier for them to move about in preparation for war.  The strength of their militaries allowed them to amass a great amount of wealth.  The Babylonians traded with other empires and earned a lot of affluence while the Assyrians earned their riches in battle.  Finally, both empires had a desire to learn.  While the Assyrians were busy with their many inventions, the Babylonians focused on science and mathematics.

            In the end, both the Babylonians and Assyrians were defeated.  Just as they were created, fought in difficult battles, amassed great wealth, and focused on learning, they perished.  New empires were born in the Fertile Crescent; only memories of the Babylonians and Assyrians survived.